You and your partner used to have great sex...in the beginning. The two of you are well into the middle now, and you’re wondering, WTF? Although there are plenty of logical explanations for your unsatisfying sex life, I’ve noticed a recurring theme in the many conversations I’ve had on the subject: Pressure.
I’m not just talking about the pressure to have sex, but also any pressure before, during, or after sex.. When you begin to associate sex with pressure, desire is quashed and performance is compromised. Sex will then likely become awkward, rushed, or anti-climactic. That is, if it happens at all. Aroused yet? Didn’t think so. READ MORE...
If you look through your baby book, you might see that "milk," "ball," or "gimme" are listed under Baby's First Words. Around age 1, we learn to communicate our wishes to those around us. If we're lucky, our parents use sign language to communicate with us before we’ve mastered our verbal skills. No matter what our native language is, verbal or otherwise, communication becomes the cornerstone of our relationships.
Why is it, then, that we adults have such difficulty communicating our needs, feelings, or vulnerabilities to our loved ones?
I need us to have more sex.
I feel hurt when you spend more time on the internet than you do with me.
I stopped talking to you because I really felt embarrassed that I forgot your birthday.
Doesn’t seem so hard, right? Wrong. What gets in the way of expressing our feelings? Pride, fear, and shame for starters. READ MORE...
No, it’s not your responsibility to worry that something terrible is going to happen to your loved ones when they leave the house. It’s not imperative that you be anxious about how others see you. And, I’m pretty sure that stressing yourself out about all the things you need to do next week is not something you need to make sure you do every single day until next week.
It’s just not your job (or anyone else’s) to worry. There, now stop worrying.
Did you? Of course not. I know, easy to say, not easy to do. Well, it might be easier than you think. It’ll take some work on your part, but with practice, you may see results and find some relief fairly quickly. READ MORE...